Creating A Life to Love: Decision #3. Reframing Fear.

Decision #3.  I choose now.  I push through my fear.  I am a person of action.

You have probably heard, “Feel the fear.  Do it anyway.”  Whenever I have heard that one, at the very least, it conjures up images of “weenie-me” not wanting to attempt something grand. It also makes me think of people who talk in platitudes about being “the change” I want to see in the world.  Those things make me wretch.

This is NOT what Decision #3 is talking about.

I like down to earth, real world, get-me-through-the-next-day kind of decision making.  I like for somebody to actually help me  They say things like, “This is how you get ______done.”  “This-is-what-worked-for-me.” Turn Left, not Right. Hints from Heloise, kind of stuff.

Fear sucks.  It usually paralyzes us or causes us to knee-jerk into reactions we aren’t too proud of.   Yes, if a car is swerving into our lane at 70 mph, THAT kind of fear can cause us to react, saving ourselves in a very good way.

But most fear, is the stuff that trickles in and out of our lives like a leaky faucet, on a daily basis.  It can become an insidious way of life, robbing us of joy and tenacity, and keeping us from trying almost anything new.

So, here’s the deal.  Fear can be re-framed. The kind of fear I am talking about can be viewed as fascination or curiosity, the moment it’s happening.  No kidding.

It takes retraining your brain/thoughts to course correct.  Every time you feel that pin-prick of fear or dread, you can literally flag it (I Choose Now.) by saying to yourself, “I am feeling afraid of ____________but in this moment, I will choose to be curious about _______________. (This is pushing through it.)

Creating this re-frame within yourself absolutely WILL cause you to act differently, without much effort. (I am a person of action.)

And, here’s the payoff. The more you become conscious of reacting this way to your every day fears, the less you will have them in your life.

I can attest to it’s working.  I just did it the other day when I went to an event by myself and walked into a room full of strangers.  Fear of the unknown, fear of looking like a total douf, fear of being rejected, all happening at once, while looking for any familiar face on the horizon.  When I chose to be CURIOUS in the NOW—-I consciously said to my inner self, “In this moment, I feel afraid AND, I am choosing to become curious about who in the world all these people are.”

Literally, I could feel my energy shift from fear and anxiety into finding out who all these people actually were.  The next thing I knew, my hand was out, extended in friendship.  Rather than allowing the feelings of fear, to shrink me into a smaller version of myself, I was able to move forward and say hello with curiosity, all fear subsided. This is the way to grow self-confidence……course correcting into curiosity.

It takes practice.  But this is real-world stuff that works. In the moment. Pushing away the “standard thoughts”. Taking new action, as a result.


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