The ultimate upside of being totally pissed off.

Alrighty. Just admit it.  Some people.  Some circumstances. Well, they just send you into orbit.

Other smaller irritants set the hair up on your neck.  Some people, when you see them coming, cause you to duck down another aisle.  You can buy that cereal later.

If you are thinking about making significant (or even little bitty) changes in your life, maybe this is exactly what the doctor ordered. Maybe when our gears are grinding, it’s the signal that it’s time to make a shift.

Those prickly little irritants and the times that turn us into “twisted sisters” are actually definitive clues.  They are flares, lighting a fire under us to step up!  As a matter of fact, if you are someone who has a hard time actually knowing what you want, chances are you have issues with knowing what you don’t want as well.  If creating a new life path is high on your priority list, then it’s perfect timing for creating curbs for the road ahead.

A life without boundaries invites a lack of respect.  A life without boundaries causes us to say “yes” much too much.  We take on other people’s problems which only eats up our time and energy…..and ultimately it takes away THE OTHER PERSON’S ability to solve things for themselves. It irritates us AND, it almost always irritates them on some level.

I’m sure you’ve heard…”No good deed, goes unpunished.”  It’s the inevitable result of a lack of boundaries.

So, here’s an exercise that’s part of every process toward sustainable change, I encourage my clients to participate in. Clients who have embraced this exercise, wholeheartedly have seen the most remarkable transformations in their careers and their relationships.

1. Be open to reframing the thoughts about your irritations as your “teachers”.

Just seeing them that way, begins to loosen their hold on you. Emotions are meant to be signals. Think highway crew, flagging you down a new lane, while the road is under construction.

2.  Reframe the idea that embracing more awareness is going to create more pain. 

Remember in school when those “just in case” fire drills were conducted so we would know what to do if that day ever came?  That’s exactly what this process is intended to do

3. Take action.  Simple and swift. Collect info.

No need for deep meditation or hours of journaling.  If you have a cell phone, you have a place called “notes” that looks like a little app button. Use it, in just a word or two, to flag the irritations, du jour for a week.  Any pang of anger or resentment, no matter the size, qualifies to make a reference. After just one week, most of my clients are flabbergasted at how much time they spend twitching.

This is GREAT news.

4.  NOW,  a plan can emerge—– it’s finally possible to create more clarity, more energy and more self-confidence by establishing boundaries consistently in alignment with our own true values.  This is not about being selfish or just blurting out a big NO.  It’s about having the words to use, “just in case” they are warranted. It’s about giving ourselves the respect we need to live a life of peace and on purpose.

Here’s what I know for sure:  If we can’t clearly articulate our boundaries with ourselves and then, to others….they will be violated.

More on how to find the words that work for you next week.  It’s Monday.  Want to give this a try?




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