What ANGER can do for you.

Yesterday, I had the good fortune to attend a luncheon where Amal Clooney spoke about her work in the world, in the field of human rights violations.  Not only is she gorgeous, she is brilliant and dedicated to righting huge wrongs against humanity and she has been effective in doing so.  When asked what motivated her to take on such horrendous crimes, or to put her life on the line, often in harm’s way…..she said simply.  “ANGER.”

She went on to say that she could not stand to sit back and let those things happen without doing something about it.  ANGER was her propellor.

I think ANGER is the key ingredient in all the presidential hopefuls’ mix.  And, I think ANGER can galvanize people into action on a large scale. ANGER is not very pretty….but it’s not intended to be.  It is a message to ourselves that THIS is WRONG, not what I deserve, was hoping for, will put up with.

It’s a chance for a choice about what to do FOR yourself or someone else in certain situations which have become incendiary.

For me…..I get angry when I set aside time for someone and they blow me off, without any kind of heads up.  I get angry when I tell someone working for me, what I want or how to do something, or what to select…..10 or 12 times, with written lists and long conversations….and yet they do it completely differently. I get angry when I find the list blowing across my yard, a half hour later! I get even angrier when they tell me I should “just live with it” (the wrong thing they have done) because fixing it will take too long.

I get angry when I am the customer and find myself repeatedly adjusting my life and time to accommodate those who are supposed to be in a service role. I get angry when someone throws me under the bus at times when they could have my back. Furious, even!

But, I get most angry with myself when I feel like I have to ACT NICE, in the face of these things.  When I most want to use my blow torch voice, I find myself using my polite Junior Leaguer love-li-ness.  Years and years of that internal combustion can cause all kinds of fractures in the body and the psyche. But what’s a “good girl” to do?

I see it all the time in my clients…..the years of feeling the need to disconnect from feelings of anger and frustration, just to “keep the peace”….when they are boiling pots of frustration.

So, I would like to take a cue from Amal’s playbook and channel that anger into doing something productive.  I probably won’t strive to save the world in the way she seems to be doing, but I will set better boundaries to handle the people who don’t value my time or opinion or energy.

Anger can help me make better decisions, going forward.  Old anger can keep me from touching that hot stove of life ever again because it serves as a reminder and a caveat for future decisions.  It can make you want to DO SOMETHING, to GET INVOLVED in a cause that does actually right a wrong.  Maybe it’s time for YOU, US, ME….to be that cause.

Anger, processed through a filter of self-awareness, compassion, better boundaries, and self-care can help us go from boiling over……..to our cups…running over.

If you are interested, I am offering a way to DO SOMETHING for yourself, with a 6 week workshop, meeting once a week……Tuesdays, from 4:00-6:00, starting June 7. The workshop is based on the book, BOUNDARIES, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend who have sold over 2 millions copies.

BOUNDARIES….When to Say Yes, How to Say No….To Take Control of Your Life.

Please contact me for more details……I don’t like to seem as if I am “selling” anything, ever, when I write these post but felt so inspired by yesterday’s experience, I wanted to take my own positive action to be of service.

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